Feedback Strategies: Feedforward

If you come from Eastern culture, you might understand more thoroughly what i say here soon. I am sorry for using the word "Eastern" loosely because not every father or mother from Eastern culture have this characteristic. That is, hope that their babies group up to be doctors (Doctor is the most dreamy job ever). To do that, they force their babies learning from a very young age (since the babies can't speak fluent Vietnamese, the parents bring them to school for English).

Children are expected to be exceptionally good in many nature courses such as math, physic, chemistry...  and are expected to have good grade, which mean A and above, not A-. When they got lower grade, their parents would questioned why and  plus penalties. They might have not to play that night or they would be spank instead.

I am lucky since my parents are not like that, but they were still expected me have a good grade. I admitted that i cheated sometimes then so that i could bring home a paper with A+ on. At that time, not only me, but my friends either be spanked or be praised like "She's good at math", "she will be accepted to the University" (It is hard to pass the exam to learn in a university in Vietnam though). I would rather choose to be praise.

A praise either encourage people or cause pressure on them. In A Troubling Side Effects of Praises, Youki Terada says that overuse praises causing pressure on children and therefore makes they willing to cheat. In this case, instead of feedback, feedforward became a useful tools.

In the article Try Feedforward instead of Feedback of  Marshall Goldsmith, Feedforward is considered the suggestion for future, not criticize for the past. My parent never spanked me, but shouted at me when i got lower grade. However, they brought back the math problems that i got them wrong and asked why i did this but not that. Therefore, i am so thankful for those who points out my mistakes and show me directions.

I found this picture very familiar to what i said above, "Why did you do this, but not that?" Pointing this out can help a person fixes the mistake and also provide guidance for future steps.

Picture from Moving Writer.

If you want to know more about parent's expectation for the kids in Eastern culture, you might want to read the book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother written by Amy Chua. A real story of raising kids.

Topic Research

After a while thinking about the theme i should focus on for my project, i decided to take the first idea that i brainstormed last week, which is to connect every fairy tales together. Although there are limits and constrains, i want to start the project using a Vietnamese story of Tam and Cam.

The story of Tam and Cam  is considered another version of Cinderella, although there are a few different points hear. In Vietnamese culture, a fairy is usually called Ông Bụt. In Tam Cam, after her sister Cam cooked and ate the Goby fish, Tam listened to Ông Bụt and splited the fishbone into four parts. Each part was put in a pot and the buried under her bed. Those pots will became the necessary things that help Tam find her true love.

This is Ông Bụt. He usually appears in most of Vietnamese fairy tale. He is also known as a Deity or a Fairy Godfather. Picture from Google

Next, I want to bring Snow White into my story, but how are these two stories related? Of course, she will become the main character that solve the problems between Tam and Cam. How do you think if Snow White's aunt is the Wicked Witch from the land of wizard Oz. I also plan to bring Rumplestiltskin, so that the story is more intense.

Week 3 Story: Eve & Lilith

"... And God sculptured Adam "in God's image".

- "Is he the first man in the earth, Grandma ? He must be so lonely."

- "He was the first man. But Darling, Adam will have his companion very soon."

- "I know it. I know it. Her name is Eve. I told you, i have learned this story at school already." The little girl runs her mouth pretty fast, and raises herself up in bed.

- "Sh...! Don't shout. You don't want to wake up everybody, do you?."

She gently claps the shoulder of her granddaughter and pushes her lay down again.

- "Before Eve, God had created Lilith, to be Adam's first wife."

- "That's weird. I thought Eve was the first woman and Adam's first wife."

- "God afraid that living alone with the animals would make Adam become wild and felt himself desolate. God formed Lilith from dust like Adam. Lilith appeared so pretty, more beautiful than every living creature that Adam had known. And she quickly grabbed Adam's attention".

Lady Lilith of Dante Grabriel Rossetti (1868). Soure: Rossettiarchieve

A small pause and Granny continues.
- " They were very happy together. They enjoyed walking around the garden of Eden, stopped by to admired the beautiful flowers in the daytime, and fondled the animals. They chattered with the moon and the stars in night time. However, their relationship gradually became strained and may even crack".

- "What's happen, Grandma?" the little girl looks curious.

- "Adam believed that he had great power over others because he was the image of God. He was burly and brawny. He was strong. He was intelligent. He was the ideal man that God created. Therefore, Adam was haughty, fury and full of pride. He always saw himself right and rarely listen to anyone, including Lilith. Lilith advised him and humbled him at first but he never listened".

- "Adam and Lilith both were formed from the dust. Therefore, Lilith was strong and incisive just like Adam. She thought she should received respect and equality from Adam. When she felt she couldn't withstand him, she told him she wanted to leave. Adam looked dagger at Lilith and wakenned God. He couldn't sustained a woman that had strong minded like her at all."

- " God manifested himself that He made a mistake when created Lilith, she shouldn't be created using the same material like Adam's. God made Lilith to evanesce before Adam's eyes and made Adam fall asleep. Then, He took out one of Adam's rib to make another woman. God named her Eve."

-" Eve was an image of Lilith, inherited a strong-minded, honest, and intelligence from Lilith, but more graceful, more sweet, more patient, and also more complicated. Lilith and Eve looked exactly the same. Because Eve was part of Adam's body, which God said, Eve would be Adam's destiny woman."

Granny stops and looks at her little girl. The little girl has been asleep since then.

..................

Author's Note: Based on the story of Adam and Eve, I transformed to a bedtime story in which a grandma tells her granddaughter about the first woman on earth. However, the characters, Adam, Eve and Lilith got changed a little bit as well as their background and context. In the original version, Adam is not self-important. Lilith flees out of Eden garden herself because she likes to enjoy the same equality as Adam. Lastly, Eve is not an image of Lilith.

I combined the personalities of Lilith and Eve because it is exactly what a modern woman has today: dependent, consistent but emotional, etc. This person may be Wu Zetian, an Empress Consort Wu of China during Tang dynasty or Hillary Clinton, an American politician who was known as the First Lady of the United States.

I knew there are many different versions about the story of Lilith after leaving Eden, Lilith became evil. However, I made Lilith disappeared because i want to keep the pretty image of women in the world. 

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Bibliography: The Creation, King James Bible (1611). Genesis 1-2

                       Lilith, Louis Ginzberg (1909). The Legends of Jews

Reading Notes: Adam and Eve, Part B

Continue in part A, Adam and Eve was punished by God because of their transgression: ate the fruit of the tree in the midst of the Garden and ignored the God's command. As a result, they were expelled from Heaven to the earth, and dwelled in the cave.

After transgression, Adam and Eve both felt the need of basic elements such as water and light, things that they didn't even care before. (Want of water and light from The Forgotten Book of Eden edited by Rutherford H. Platt, Jr. 1926).

Adam and Eve saw the first Sunrise. Source: iStock

Because of God' pity, He created the sun to give them light, but not forever. There will be day twelve hours and another twelve hours darkness. As sunrise, Adam and Eve suddenly saw the Serpent, who was cursed by god to eat the dust and go upon the belly. The Serpent tried to revenge, but God punished the Serpent again by take his word off. (The Sunrise and The Serpent from The Forgotten Book of Eden edited by Rutherford H. Platt, Jr. 1926)

Both Adam and Eve attempted to suicide after but because of the atonement of God, Adam and Eve enlightened and worshiped God (Worship and Blessing from The Forgotten Book of Eden edited by Rutherford H. Platt, Jr. 1926)

Reading Notes: Adam and Eve, Part A

This week, i take a Biblical reading unit to gain my knowledge about the first man and the first woman in the world, Adam and Eve. This reading unit combined two different stories from the Biblical book of Genesis and The Legends of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg. This unit told us about the formation of humankind and the transformation over time.

Originally, there were no earth and no living things. God created heaven and the earth and breathed the breath of life into them. He then brought them air, light, sky, mountains, trees, herbs and every living creatures. He also formed a man based on his image and breathed the breath of life through the nostril. God named a man Adam. God gave Adam the right to govern everything upon the earth and the heaven. (The Creation from Biblical book of Genesis)

To let Adam got away from his loneliness, God again created a woman out of the dust and named her Lilith- the first woman on the earth, also Adam's first wife. However, Lilith chose to pursue the same equality as Adam, so she left away. (Lilith from The Legends of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg)

Adam and Eve sinned in Eden. Picture: Bjorkbloggen

God then created Eve from one of Adam' ribs and Eve became his destiny woman. The serpent jealous with Adam because the beauty of his wife- Eve. He set a trap for Eve to eat the forbidden fruit. Eve brought the forbidden fruit to share with Adam and other living animals. As a result, God cursed the serpents, punished both Adam and Eve for not obeyed his order. (The Fall of Man from The Legends of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg)