Pictures by Soha
Instead of choosing the cartoon versions, i choose the characters on the recent movie, Tam Cam: An Untold Story, for more specific depicting the personalities of each character.
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| Cam - the stepsister of Tam |
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| The Step-mother |
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| Tam |
Week 4 Story: Mother-in-law and daughter in law
Author's Note: Mother and Daughter-in-law is always a subject in movies, but it also appeared in reality, at least in Viet Nam. To exploit the conflict of Venus (mother-in law) and Psyche (daughter-in -law) in the serie of Cupid and Psyche, which is created from a Roman novel, The Golden Ass written by Apuleius and translated by Tony Kline, I make up a new version of its, which happens in a modern society instead of mythological history.
The original version of Cupid and Psyche, Venus (Cupid's mother) are not satisfied with Psyche (Cupid's wife). Therefore Venus tried to stop this relationship by setting obstacles to Psyche. Follow the motif of Cinderella, Venus mixed the grains together and made her daugher-in-law to separate them piece to piece. She ordered Psyche to collect the gold wool from those wild and crucial sheeps, commanded her to collect the divine water and brought to the underground where it could be transformed into a Jar of Beauty. Venus believed that Psyche couldn't done these job, but surprisingly she did with the help of others. Psyche then became a goddess and married Cupid under the witness of Jupiter. They lived happily ever after.
In this new version, the daughter-in-law, let calls her P, and her mother-in -law, V, will experience a different ending, which i believe are more sadness, but also depicts a true choice of a modern girl and in a modern society.
Assume the context appears in Viet Nam, a big city, where P marries a rich guy, and lives together with her husband's mother, V.
Mrs. V starts to palaver to her son about his wife without caring about P.
The original version of Cupid and Psyche, Venus (Cupid's mother) are not satisfied with Psyche (Cupid's wife). Therefore Venus tried to stop this relationship by setting obstacles to Psyche. Follow the motif of Cinderella, Venus mixed the grains together and made her daugher-in-law to separate them piece to piece. She ordered Psyche to collect the gold wool from those wild and crucial sheeps, commanded her to collect the divine water and brought to the underground where it could be transformed into a Jar of Beauty. Venus believed that Psyche couldn't done these job, but surprisingly she did with the help of others. Psyche then became a goddess and married Cupid under the witness of Jupiter. They lived happily ever after.
This is the picture in a Vietnamese movie, "mother and daughter-in-law". The picture depicts the contradictory story of mother and daugher in law.
Source: Thanh Nien
In this new version, the daughter-in-law, let calls her P, and her mother-in -law, V, will experience a different ending, which i believe are more sadness, but also depicts a true choice of a modern girl and in a modern society.
Assume the context appears in Viet Nam, a big city, where P marries a rich guy, and lives together with her husband's mother, V.
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- "If you are my daughter-in-law, then you should quit your job to be able to take care of your husband and the whole family. Furthermore, it is costly to hire a maid. It is better to save money. Don't you think so?"
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- "If you insists on taking that job, i do have a little request." The woman pause a while.
- "Yes, mom. Please tell me. I am listening to you."
- "Because you live in this house, so you should follow the rules here. No matter what you do, triple time a day you have to return home to eat with family. You don't have to prepare the meal at noonday, i will do it for you, but not the breakfast and the dining meal. That means you have to wake up at 5am and return home at 5pm in order to prepare the meals."
-" Mom, you know i am busy at work. I am a reporter, whenever it is a news, i have to go. I can wake up early but it is unable for me to be back at 5pm. You can ask my husband, he is also a reporter, so he will understand me."
- "I don't care. He is a man, but you the women. You can't compare like that."
And Mrs. V says again as the atmosphere becomes strain and tense.
-"Need to say more? "
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- "If you are my daughter-in-law, then you should quit your job to be able to take care of your husband and the whole family. Furthermore, it is costly to hire a maid. It is better to save money. Don't you think so?"
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- "If you insists on taking that job, i do have a little request." The woman pause a while.
- "Yes, mom. Please tell me. I am listening to you."
- "Because you live in this house, so you should follow the rules here. No matter what you do, triple time a day you have to return home to eat with family. You don't have to prepare the meal at noonday, i will do it for you, but not the breakfast and the dining meal. That means you have to wake up at 5am and return home at 5pm in order to prepare the meals."
-" Mom, you know i am busy at work. I am a reporter, whenever it is a news, i have to go. I can wake up early but it is unable for me to be back at 5pm. You can ask my husband, he is also a reporter, so he will understand me."
- "I don't care. He is a man, but you the women. You can't compare like that."
And Mrs. V says again as the atmosphere becomes strain and tense.
-"Need to say more? "
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The old woman sits on the dining- table, sets her foot on the chair, inclines her head, looks scrutiny to the girl as she is busy to clean the floor. The woman says with an arrogant voice:
-"P, take a wet clout to wipe the floor."
- "Yes, but i just watered the floor before. I think it is fine to dry with a clout, Mom." P gently replies.
- "Well, you have to listen to me. I am your mother, not you. How the house can be clean if you do like that? Stand up and soak the clout. No more talking!"
-"Yes, mom. "
V is so hostile, yet, mumble something. While P easy and willing to follow her order, soak the clout and clean the floor. Mrs. V sits there and waits until P done her job.
- "Now, go ahead a use the dry clout to clean one more time so it will dry."
- "Mother, it is very hot today so just leaves it there, i will open the fan so it will dry fast. Don't worry!"
One more time, mrs. V looks daggers at her.
- "Why everytime i told you something you always argues with me? You're rude. "
One again P is docile to do the job, but a little bit sufferings. Mrs. V still mumbles. A minutes latter, her son returns home after works. The widow welcomes warmly.
- "You got home early today, sweetie? Are you hungry? Let's eat. Here, sit here." As Mrs. V said, she reached the chair next to her and asks her son repeatedly without letting the boy say anything. V gentle and exuberance. "Wait a minute, i set the table for you."
-" P, what are you doing out there? Your husband had returned home. Come and prepare the dining meal for him. You want him starving to death, don't you?". Mrs. V changes her tune 360 degree toward P. So fierce and so loud.
- "I am coming, mom. V still so gently responded."
Mrs. V starts to palaver to her son about his wife without caring about P.
- "You should teach your wife. She is so impudent and impertinent. No matter what i say, she always try to contradicting me. I am your mother. I don't want her to ride over you."
- "Mother, my wife is young and know nothing. Can you teach her step by step?"
P heard all the conversation and feels disappointed. She is young but she knows what is right and wrong. She did all the job perfect but just not the ways her mother-in-law like. Speaking directly, Mrs. V have never like her before and doesn't want P to marry his son.
- "Mother and you can eat first. I am not feel right so i take a rest. I will eat later."
-" What's happen? Are you ok?"The husband raises his voice. Yet, his mother stops him.
- "Just ignore her. She will eat whenever she feels hungry. There no need to worry about her."
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Several days later, P returns to her nature mother's home. She know that she can't be happy if Mrs. V keep treating her badly like that, and her husband do nothing for her except unilateral listen to his mother.
If the son is a prince, the daughter is also a princess of her parent.
-" What's happen? Are you ok?"The husband raises his voice. Yet, his mother stops him.
- "Just ignore her. She will eat whenever she feels hungry. There no need to worry about her."
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Several days later, P returns to her nature mother's home. She know that she can't be happy if Mrs. V keep treating her badly like that, and her husband do nothing for her except unilateral listen to his mother.
If the son is a prince, the daughter is also a princess of her parent.
Reading Notes: Cupid And Psyche, Part B
Continuing the story of Cupid and Psyche of Apuleius, the old woman told the girl-prisoner how Psyche found her husband- Cupid while Venus desperately seeked her. Venus summoned everyone to find her with a reward.
In the meanwhile, Psyche, on her way to find her husband, met two great Goddesses: Ceres and Juno (Apuleius: Psyche's Prayer). Although they could not help her because they all had relationship with Venus, they gave her advise not to confront Venus.
However, Venus still found her and gave her three difficult tasks. Of course, Psyche finished all the tasks with the help of the ants, the reed and the eagle. First task was to separate the grains into different piles. Second task was to collect the gold wool from the anger sheeps. And the third was to collect a Stygian water (the third task).
When Venus felt into sleep because opening the jar of beauty, Cupid found her and waken her up. Jupiter helped Cupid by letting Psyche became a goddess, and the marriage between these two would last forever (The Wedding Feast)
Cupid and Psyche wedding with the present of Jupiter.
Source: Arthiver
Reading Notes: Cupid and Psyche, Part A
Last week, i read a story from Biblical Unit. So, this week the Crystal Ball for Classical Unit picked a random story of Cupid and Psyche Unit written by Apuleius and translated by Tony Kline.
This is a kind of a story within a story, in which an old woman narratives to a girl about the story of Cupid and Psyche to alleviate her pain from being kidnapped.
In the Psyche's Beauty and the Anger of Venus, the youngest girl in the family, Psyche, is beauty as the Goddess Venus. Her reputation overcomes oceans and realms and communicates to Venus. As Venus's jealous aroused, she ordered her Son, Cupid, to teach Psyche a lesson by burning her passion of her marriage.
Psyche honored by the People by Giordano. Source: MILL
Cupid becomes her mysterious husband. They live in a luxury palace hidden deep down in the forest, behind the hill. He only appears when nightfall and leave at dawn. Psyche never saw his face then.
Her two sisters jealous of her lucky. They incite Psyche to reveal his face. Psyche finally can't restrain herself. In Psyche's Husband revealed, , Cupid fly away from Psyche because of her transgression.
Feedback Strategies: Feedforward
If you come from Eastern culture, you might understand more thoroughly what i say here soon. I am sorry for using the word "Eastern" loosely because not every father or mother from Eastern culture have this characteristic. That is, hope that their babies group up to be doctors (Doctor is the most dreamy job ever). To do that, they force their babies learning from a very young age (since the babies can't speak fluent Vietnamese, the parents bring them to school for English).
Children are expected to be exceptionally good in many nature courses such as math, physic, chemistry... and are expected to have good grade, which mean A and above, not A-. When they got lower grade, their parents would questioned why and plus penalties. They might have not to play that night or they would be spank instead.
I am lucky since my parents are not like that, but they were still expected me have a good grade. I admitted that i cheated sometimes then so that i could bring home a paper with A+ on. At that time, not only me, but my friends either be spanked or be praised like "She's good at math", "she will be accepted to the University" (It is hard to pass the exam to learn in a university in Vietnam though). I would rather choose to be praise.
A praise either encourage people or cause pressure on them. In A Troubling Side Effects of Praises, Youki Terada says that overuse praises causing pressure on children and therefore makes they willing to cheat. In this case, instead of feedback, feedforward became a useful tools.
In the article Try Feedforward instead of Feedback of Marshall Goldsmith, Feedforward is considered the suggestion for future, not criticize for the past. My parent never spanked me, but shouted at me when i got lower grade. However, they brought back the math problems that i got them wrong and asked why i did this but not that. Therefore, i am so thankful for those who points out my mistakes and show me directions.
I found this picture very familiar to what i said above, "Why did you do this, but not that?" Pointing this out can help a person fixes the mistake and also provide guidance for future steps.
Picture from Moving Writer.
If you want to know more about parent's expectation for the kids in Eastern culture, you might want to read the book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother written by Amy Chua. A real story of raising kids.
Topic Research
After a while thinking about the theme i should focus on for my project, i decided to take the first idea that i brainstormed last week, which is to connect every fairy tales together. Although there are limits and constrains, i want to start the project using a Vietnamese story of Tam and Cam.
The story of Tam and Cam is considered another version of Cinderella, although there are a few different points hear. In Vietnamese culture, a fairy is usually called Ông Bụt. In Tam Cam, after her sister Cam cooked and ate the Goby fish, Tam listened to Ông Bụt and splited the fishbone into four parts. Each part was put in a pot and the buried under her bed. Those pots will became the necessary things that help Tam find her true love.
Next, I want to bring Snow White into my story, but how are these two stories related? Of course, she will become the main character that solve the problems between Tam and Cam. How do you think if Snow White's aunt is the Wicked Witch from the land of wizard Oz. I also plan to bring Rumplestiltskin, so that the story is more intense.
The story of Tam and Cam is considered another version of Cinderella, although there are a few different points hear. In Vietnamese culture, a fairy is usually called Ông Bụt. In Tam Cam, after her sister Cam cooked and ate the Goby fish, Tam listened to Ông Bụt and splited the fishbone into four parts. Each part was put in a pot and the buried under her bed. Those pots will became the necessary things that help Tam find her true love.
This is Ông Bụt. He usually appears in most of Vietnamese fairy tale. He is also known as a Deity or a Fairy Godfather. Picture from Google
Next, I want to bring Snow White into my story, but how are these two stories related? Of course, she will become the main character that solve the problems between Tam and Cam. How do you think if Snow White's aunt is the Wicked Witch from the land of wizard Oz. I also plan to bring Rumplestiltskin, so that the story is more intense.
Week 3 Story: Eve & Lilith
"... And God sculptured Adam "in God's image".
- "Is he the first man in the earth, Grandma ? He must be so lonely."
- "He was the first man. But Darling, Adam will have his companion very soon."
- "I know it. I know it. Her name is Eve. I told you, i have learned this story at school already." The little girl runs her mouth pretty fast, and raises herself up in bed.
- "Sh...! Don't shout. You don't want to wake up everybody, do you?."
She gently claps the shoulder of her granddaughter and pushes her lay down again.
- "Before Eve, God had created Lilith, to be Adam's first wife."
- "That's weird. I thought Eve was the first woman and Adam's first wife."
- "God afraid that living alone with the animals would make Adam become wild and felt himself desolate. God formed Lilith from dust like Adam. Lilith appeared so pretty, more beautiful than every living creature that Adam had known. And she quickly grabbed Adam's attention".
A small pause and Granny continues.
- " They were very happy together. They enjoyed walking around the garden of Eden, stopped by to admired the beautiful flowers in the daytime, and fondled the animals. They chattered with the moon and the stars in night time. However, their relationship gradually became strained and may even crack".
- "What's happen, Grandma?" the little girl looks curious.
- "Adam believed that he had great power over others because he was the image of God. He was burly and brawny. He was strong. He was intelligent. He was the ideal man that God created. Therefore, Adam was haughty, fury and full of pride. He always saw himself right and rarely listen to anyone, including Lilith. Lilith advised him and humbled him at first but he never listened".
- "Adam and Lilith both were formed from the dust. Therefore, Lilith was strong and incisive just like Adam. She thought she should received respect and equality from Adam. When she felt she couldn't withstand him, she told him she wanted to leave. Adam looked dagger at Lilith and wakenned God. He couldn't sustained a woman that had strong minded like her at all."
- " God manifested himself that He made a mistake when created Lilith, she shouldn't be created using the same material like Adam's. God made Lilith to evanesce before Adam's eyes and made Adam fall asleep. Then, He took out one of Adam's rib to make another woman. God named her Eve."
-" Eve was an image of Lilith, inherited a strong-minded, honest, and intelligence from Lilith, but more graceful, more sweet, more patient, and also more complicated. Lilith and Eve looked exactly the same. Because Eve was part of Adam's body, which God said, Eve would be Adam's destiny woman."
Granny stops and looks at her little girl. The little girl has been asleep since then.
- "Is he the first man in the earth, Grandma ? He must be so lonely."
- "He was the first man. But Darling, Adam will have his companion very soon."
- "I know it. I know it. Her name is Eve. I told you, i have learned this story at school already." The little girl runs her mouth pretty fast, and raises herself up in bed.
- "Sh...! Don't shout. You don't want to wake up everybody, do you?."
She gently claps the shoulder of her granddaughter and pushes her lay down again.
- "Before Eve, God had created Lilith, to be Adam's first wife."
- "That's weird. I thought Eve was the first woman and Adam's first wife."
- "God afraid that living alone with the animals would make Adam become wild and felt himself desolate. God formed Lilith from dust like Adam. Lilith appeared so pretty, more beautiful than every living creature that Adam had known. And she quickly grabbed Adam's attention".
Lady Lilith of Dante Grabriel Rossetti (1868). Soure: Rossettiarchieve
A small pause and Granny continues.
- " They were very happy together. They enjoyed walking around the garden of Eden, stopped by to admired the beautiful flowers in the daytime, and fondled the animals. They chattered with the moon and the stars in night time. However, their relationship gradually became strained and may even crack".
- "What's happen, Grandma?" the little girl looks curious.
- "Adam believed that he had great power over others because he was the image of God. He was burly and brawny. He was strong. He was intelligent. He was the ideal man that God created. Therefore, Adam was haughty, fury and full of pride. He always saw himself right and rarely listen to anyone, including Lilith. Lilith advised him and humbled him at first but he never listened".
- "Adam and Lilith both were formed from the dust. Therefore, Lilith was strong and incisive just like Adam. She thought she should received respect and equality from Adam. When she felt she couldn't withstand him, she told him she wanted to leave. Adam looked dagger at Lilith and wakenned God. He couldn't sustained a woman that had strong minded like her at all."
- " God manifested himself that He made a mistake when created Lilith, she shouldn't be created using the same material like Adam's. God made Lilith to evanesce before Adam's eyes and made Adam fall asleep. Then, He took out one of Adam's rib to make another woman. God named her Eve."
-" Eve was an image of Lilith, inherited a strong-minded, honest, and intelligence from Lilith, but more graceful, more sweet, more patient, and also more complicated. Lilith and Eve looked exactly the same. Because Eve was part of Adam's body, which God said, Eve would be Adam's destiny woman."
Granny stops and looks at her little girl. The little girl has been asleep since then.
..................
Author's Note: Based on the story of Adam and Eve, I transformed to a bedtime story in which a grandma tells her granddaughter about the first woman on earth. However, the characters, Adam, Eve and Lilith got changed a little bit as well as their background and context. In the original version, Adam is not self-important. Lilith flees out of Eden garden herself because she likes to enjoy the same equality as Adam. Lastly, Eve is not an image of Lilith.
I combined the personalities of Lilith and Eve because it is exactly what a modern woman has today: dependent, consistent but emotional, etc. This person may be Wu Zetian, an Empress Consort Wu of China during Tang dynasty or Hillary Clinton, an American politician who was known as the First Lady of the United States.
I knew there are many different versions about the story of Lilith after leaving Eden, Lilith became evil. However, I made Lilith disappeared because i want to keep the pretty image of women in the world.
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Bibliography: The Creation, King James Bible (1611). Genesis 1-2
Lilith, Louis Ginzberg (1909). The Legends of Jews
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